McCain Says U.S. Should Annex Canada And Mexico

Funny story written by Keith Shirey

Tuesday, 4 March 2014

image for McCain Says U.S. Should Annex Canada And Mexico

Senator John McCain demanded today that the Congress pass a Declaration of War against Canada and Mexico so that the U.S. could annex them.

"The Obama Administration has been soft and cowardly on Putin's invasion of the Ukraine. It is his weakness in the issues of national security and foreign policy that caused the invasion in the first place," said the Senator from Arizona.

"A takeover of Canada and Mexico, who are on our borders just as the Ukraine is on Russia's, will show Mr. Putin just who's boss on the world scene," he said.

McCain accused Obama of being "weak, indecisive, and soft" which he said, "Puts the nation at mortal risk." He said that a takeover of the two countries would show that America still has some backbone.

The Senator pointed out that if the U.S. annexed Canada, the hockey players responsible for the U.S.' defeat at the Sochi Olympic Games would play for the U.S. in the future. "We'll beat anybody then," said the Senator

As for Mexico, he said that annexation would drive down the high cost of Tequila and the huge expense of border security.

"And won't have to have anymore debates about immigration reform." he said.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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