Former U. S. President of Vice, Al Gore, who cannot make up his mind as to whether the planet is experiencing "global warming" or undergoing "climate change," is sure about one thing: the U. S. military is definitely "not the home of the best and the brightest."
"Ever since we moved from the draft to an all-volunteer military," he said, "we have been attracting gay servicemen and lesbians who have no other career options, due to their low intelligence."
It may be that Gore, who has shown to be wrong on many other issues, has finally gotten it right this time: in September 2012, the U. S. Air Farce dropped a 500-pound bomb on its own base!
The personnel stationed there, a retired Air Farce colonel, John Smith, who wishes to remain anonymous, said, "are the lowest of the low" in terms of "I. Q."
"It is likely," the unnamed source contended, "that the assault was intentional." The U. S. is "committed to doing everything we can to win the hearts and minds of the Taliban, including eliminating the dumbest among our own personnel."
The Obama administration denies the colonel's allegations, calling them "un-American."
The colonel, however, stands by his statements. "For years, we've been dumbing down our military. Now, we're recruiting people who can't determine map coordinates or perform simple trigonometry."
President Obama strongly disagreed with his anonymous critic. "What does Colonel Smith know about the military?" he asked. "He's retired, whereas I am the commander in chief of all the nation's military forces, including the Peace Corpse."
As is typical with the Obama administration, no one was held responsible for the incident. "It was an accident that could happen to anyone," the president declared.
Asked her opinion of the incident, 2016 presidential hopeful Hillary Clinton said, "What difference does it make?"
