Written by Wumf

Tuesday, 18 February 2014

image for U.S. Military Instructed to Go After the Wee People's Gold
$1317 for one ounce of gold

Washington, D.C. - A top secret military operation authorized by the Pentagon has been leaked to the press today by a source calling himself "King Midas".

King Midas reports that the U.S. military has been given orders to begin clandestine search and rescue operations immediately in the country of Ireland.

The soldiers are to search out the wee people referred to as leprechauns and "rescue" their pots of gold. Special leprechaun detection devices, including night goggles, have been issued to the soldiers, since they have to limit their operations to the wee hours of the morning when the Irish Garda will be asleep.

King Midas says concerns about the declining gold supply in the U.S. has prompted this military maneuver. It is hoped that the U.S. can bring home about $3,000,000,000 in gold coins in the weeks leading up to St. Patrick's Day.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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