London - (Doomsday Mess): It's all in the numbers, folks... And numerology freaks are tumescent with expectation that this May Day's 333rd anniversary of the founding of the Bavarian Illuminati will see the death 'by auto-erotic waterboarding' of Hitler's daughter, on the 64th anniversary of her father's 'suicide' in a Berlin bunker.
The shadowy power-behind-the-drone organization was founded exactly 69 years after the 1707 Act of Union joined the Kingdoms of England and Scotland, in a paranoid knee-jerk over-reaction to the prophecies of Nostradamus.
The accompanying Treaty bailed out the feckless Scots who had lost their entire national wealth in a reckless Panamanian Pyramid Selling scam run by the Bernie Madoff's very own Highlander ancestor Wee Willie McPonzi.
Meanwhile in Windsor Castle's Joseph Fritzl Memorial S&M Dungeon Queen ELizabeth was still up to her old tricks on Walpurgisnight, blithely trying out various sex aid novelties from her new best friend Michelle O'Bummer and oblivious to the fate that has marked her card.
