As The Smiths confidently predicted in 1986 with their album "The Queen Is Dead", the Queen has finally snuffed it. So what happens now?
For nine days the UK will be in a period of mourning. During that time, shops are not allowed to sell cakes or balloons. All television channels must broadcast mourning news 24 hours a day, and only bagpipe music is permitted on the radio. Even North Korea only does five days.
Most Brits will spend this period eating bowls of custard, the traditional meal of national mourning. Black bunting will become a common sight throughout the country.
Towards the end of the nine days, the Queen's body will be ritually fed to her corgis, who will then be burnt alive in the Royal dog oven at her estate in Balmoral.
Prince Charles will begin preparations for his coronation. This will start on day ten at Westminster Abbey with his inspection of the Archbishop of Canterbury's scrotum to confirm he is not a female impostor.
Charles will then stand by the empty throne wearing a paper hat for three days without food or sleep to prove his worthiness. If he survives then he will be crowned at the end of his ordeal.
During those three days, swans are temporarily not protected, so expect to spot bands of hungry Brits bashing them with spades and barbequing them in the street.
The new King Charles money should be available by the end of the year, and people have until March to take all their old Elizabeth money to the bank to replace it. After then it will become worthless.
The currency symbol £ will also change, as is it based on the letter E for Elizabeth. The pound will instead be represented by a decorative royal C.
And so the circle of life continues. We are all born and we all will die, but how many of us will live to witness the mad celebration when a monarch dies. It truly is a wonderful time.
Enjoy your custard.
