CHEYENNE, Wyoming – (Satire News) – The Cheyenne School District has just informed the student body that a new directive will take affect in three weeks.
School board president Jessica Belladonna, 42, has stated that female students between the ages of 14 and 20, will be prohibited from wearing lipstick and nipple rings.
Belladonna pointed out that lipstick; especially bright red lipstick has a tendency of making happy teenage boys even happier than they already are.
She then shook her head and added, and don't get me started on those rude-as-the-dickens nipple rings.
Miss Belladonna, who ironically has inverted nipples, stressed that the board approved this new directive by a unanimous vote of 14 to 0.
The school board president, who is not related to famed hip hop artist Yo Girl Belladonna, made it clear that anyone violating this new directive will risk being suspended for upwards of five weeks.
She noted that a second infraction will result in the student being expelled and having her parents or guardians fined $350.
SIDENOTE: One of the board members was asked by a student if the new mandate also applies to male students, and the answer came that the directive only pertains to female students, much to his relief.