I'm voting for Truss, definitely. Or I would if I had a vote. She reminds me of Thatcher because she's also a woman. I mean, they're all the same aren't they? I bet she has nice feet.
Truss said she believed in spades in the ground. I agree with that, although if we buried all our spades then we wouldn't be able to do any digging. In fact, it wouldn't be possible to get to the spades any more because what would we dig them up with except our bare hands. But I reckon it was probably a metaphor for Brexit or something clever like that.
She wants to lower taxes too, which I like personally. Not for me - I don't pay any taxes because I don't work. But it's good for the rich folk, they need to pay less tax. I worry about rich people and how much tax they're paying on their millions. I think it's important to care for the rich people in society - not that there's any such thing as society of course.
I like Truss because she wants to tear up the Northern Ireland protocol. Now I don't know exactly what the protocol is, or where Northern Ireland is, or why she wants to tear it up, but I reckon I could have a guess based on what I read in the Express. Boris did an amazing job of negotiating the withdrawal agreement with the EU and getting Brexit done. But now we have to renegotiate the whole thing, which includes the protocol, because of the EU's fault or something. It's always the EU's fault, isn't it? Blasted foreigners! Don't get me started on Rishi Sunak.
Oh, are you leaving? Surely you can stay for one more. I'll be here all day, the beer is very cheap.
By roving reporter, Man in a Spoons