Ozzy Osbourne has been thinking about his old country. Hollywood is a-buzz thinking that Ozzy may head back to the Merry Ole England to invade London and become the Prime Minister.
His campaign world tour and slogan will be: “Hop On Ozzy’s Crazy Train Tour for PM!”
An all-star line-up of musicians (NOT politicians) will accompany Ozzy as he tours the UK not giving boring speeches and making false promises. Instead, he’ll be cranking the guitars up to 11 and biting the heads off bats and gophers and anything else thrown his way.
When he sings “War Pigs”, that’s how he ‘talks’ about foreign policy and Ukraine.
When he sings “Sweet Leaf’, he’s really talking about legalization of marijuana and other drugs. (Britain, d’you wanna make money or not? Drugs! You used to grow and buy and sell opium! Hell, you addicted the entire country of China! Why d’you think they want pay-back, buying everything in sight – I mean entire nations, not fish and chips and football jerseys.)
When he sings “Paranoid”, he’s talking mental health issues.
When he sings “Iron Man”, he’s talking about the future of the British military.
When he sings “Into the Void”, he’s talking about the British space program.
When he sings “Children of the Grave”, he’s talking about the youth of Britain, and how they can hope once again for a brighter tomorrow.
Ozzy has a song for every issue!
A vote for Ozzy is a vote for Britain once again taking over the world … but this time, with kickass heavy metal!
CRANK UP THE VOTE, FUCKERS!!
