Meghan Diagnosed With Terminal Persimmon Winter-Kill Syndrome

Funny story written by Dr. Billingsgate

Monday, 18 July 2022

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Not That Funny

BILLINGSGATE POST: A shocking new revelation about Meghan Markle, now the Duchess of Sussex, that she was diagnosed with having terminal persimmon winter-kill syndrome (TPWKS) prior to her marriage to Harry, has just been made public in the new book, “Revenge: Meghan, Harry and the War between the Windsors,” written by Britain journalist, Tom Bower.

TPWKS is rarely fatal if treated early enough. One of the symptoms is the perpetual pouting of the lips, brought upon by an attitude of dismissive superiority of most things indigenous to Homo sapiens. Another famous victim of the syndrome is Nancy Poozleosi, currently the Speaker of the House and second-in-line to succeed the President if he should die or become incapacitated.

In his book, Bower relates that Prince Harry’s pals from England’s prestigious Eton College said he was “f- -king nuts” for dating Meghan Markle after she berated them for their “jokes about sexism, feminism and transgender people.”

“A pinch-mouth prude” sniffed one of his pals. “No doubt she must be afflicted with terminal persimmon winter-kill syndrome,” he added.

In an excerpt from the book, the Duke of Sussex invited Markle, then his main squeeze, to meet his friends during a shooting weekend at the royal family’s Sandringham country estate in 2016. There was “endless banter, jokes — and a lot of drinking,” among the group which included 16 of Harry’s pals, as well as their wives and girlfriends.

According to the book, Markle did not enjoy the comedy among Harry’s friends, and her lips were disdainfully pursed for the full weekend, only opening when offered food and drink.

Dr. Slim: “Two things that don’t last long on the tour: Dogs that chase cars and pinch-mouth prudes.”

Dirty: “Yo, Dr. Dude. I can relate to that. I once dated a giraffe: All neck and no ass.”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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