Meghan Markle last night told reporters that she intends to sacrifice a live Sumatran gibbon on an alter in her back garden to commemorate the life of The Duke of Edinburgh, who passed away in April last year.
The Duchess of Sussex, who was unable to attend in person due to her pregnancy, said: "Prince Philip was always very nice to me so sacrificing a small primate in his honour is the very least I can do.
"When I became a royal, I expected him to give me a hard time over the fact that I'm mixed race but he never mentioned it once, although he did make a few jokes about fried chicken and neighbourhood gang membership.
"A friend of mine with a private zoo is supplying the gibbon and I hope to sacrifice it at the same moment that the Call To Arms was sounded in the chapel at Windsor while he lay there in his coffin."
The move has met with some criticism, however, with The Times of London calling it, 'ill-advised', while the Daily Mail, long-time critics of The Duchess, called it, 'A disgusting and a desperate bid to steal the limelight while at the same time increasing the plight of an endangered species"
In 2002, the Duchess of Cambridge came under fire for slitting the throat of a Bahamian virgin on the steps of Westminster Abbey as a sacrificial offering during the funeral service of Princess Margaret.