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Funny story: Man Given Emergency CPR After Swallowing Tory Bullshit

Man Given Emergency CPR After Swallowing Tory Bullshit

A man was recovering in hospital this morning having spent a night under observation, after becoming ill when he got just a little too close to Prime Minister Boris Johnson, who was making a speech on his campaign trail. David Syclops, from Hunsl...

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Funny story: Jacob Rees-Mogg Urged To "Jump" By Huge Crowd

Jacob Rees-Mogg Urged To "Jump" By Huge Crowd

The leader of the House of Commons, Jacob Rees-Mogg, was besieged by a huge crowd of spectators as he went walkabout on the roof of the Houses of Parliament today, after his comments earlier in the week about some of those who perished in the Grenfel...

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Funny story: Boris Johnson Offers To Buy Round At Last-Chance Saloon

Boris Johnson Offers To Buy Round At Last-Chance Saloon

British Prime Minister Boris Johnson was desperately trying to rally support amongst fellow MPs for his Brexit deal last night, and, to show how desperate he really was, he invited anyone at all who bear it, to have a drink on him at the Last-Chance...

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Funny story: More Tory Leadership Candidates Reveal Drug-Fuelled Pasts

More Tory Leadership Candidates Reveal Drug-Fuelled Pasts

The Tory Leadership stakes have risen dramatically in the last 24 hours, with more and more candidates confessing to past illegal drug-use, writes Archery, Bridge, Hare-Jugging, Real Tennis, Topological Homeomorphism and Political Correspondent, Clai...

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Funny story: What Do You Think?

What Do You Think?

Austria is generally remembered for giving us Hitler. On a local scale that’s like everyone knowing your restaurant gave the local synchronised swimming team the shits before the big final. The pool was never the same again. However an Austria...

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Funny story: Students at Conservative School in Trouble for Showing Too Much Ankle at Prom

Students at Conservative School in Trouble for Showing Too Much Ankle at Prom

Three students from Christian Preparatory High School were caught by faculty for scandalously flashing too much ankle at their senior prom. Steve Brock, the principal of Christian Preparatory High explains the school's strict dress code: "Our sch...

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Funny story: Help, please for the love of god, somebody help me

Help, please for the love of god, somebody help me

By Donald Trump Let me be frank. I don't want to be President. I never did. Someone very powerful offered me 20 million dollars to run a campaign and I couldn't refuse that offer. Now they're not letting me back out and I am regretting it immensely. I'm trying to sabotage my campaign and you keep voting for me in the polls. Stop it! Just stop it already! I've had enough! What more do I need...

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Funny story: Conservative Party Manifesto 2015

Conservative Party Manifesto 2015

(Or, actually what Cameron meant to say but didn't, being the gentleman that he is and everything.) "Over the last five years, we have placed our country, according to our business partners' demands, in the U.S. and elsewhere, under total bureaucr...

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Funny story: Eric Pickles Replaced by Dugong in Election Battle

Eric Pickles Replaced by Dugong in Election Battle

Secretary of State for Communities and Local Government Eric Pickles is to be replaced by a dugong in the General Election. The shock history-making revelation was made in an extraordinary constituency meeting in Brentwood and Ongar yesterday. "I...

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Funny story: Phyllis Schlafly Inadvertently "Outs" Grandson When She Confuses Gay with 'Gay'

Phyllis Schlafly Inadvertently "Outs" Grandson When She Confuses Gay with 'Gay'

Topeka, KS - Phyllis Schlafly, best known for her unwavering extremely conservative political and social views and her opposition to modern feminism, inadvertently 'outed' her homosexual grandson by describing him as gay. During a speech before...

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Funny story: You'll Never Guess Who Said And Advocated This

You'll Never Guess Who Said And Advocated This

Whose policies and ideas are these? 1) A policy of effectively withholding relief to the poor and allowing market forces to take their course. 2) The idea that government charity will upset the free market and be an interference with free enter...

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Funny story: President Obama's New Year's Resolution Is To Have Conservative Radio Talk Shows Investigated

President Obama's New Year's Resolution Is To Have Conservative Radio Talk Shows Investigated

WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Obama has stated that he will no longer pussy-foot when it comes to dealing with conservative radio talk shows. He told an assembled group of news reporters in the White House Rose Garden that he can no longer allow th...

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Funny story: Wild Animals of America Party accuses Republicans of thinking too much

Wild Animals of America Party accuses Republicans of thinking too much

WASHINGTON--The Wild Animals of America Party began as an offshoot of the GOP, railing against big government for interfering with the divinely ordained inequalities in nature. "Let the natural struggle in the marketplace sort everything out," said W...

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Funny story: Duck Dynasty Delusions and American Social Cohesion in Jeopardy, Experts warn

Duck Dynasty Delusions and American Social Cohesion in Jeopardy, Experts warn

WEST MONROE, LA--Phil Robertson, star of A&E's Duck Dynasty, got into trouble with his politically incorrect comments about homosexuality being un-Christian. For financial reasons, A&E stood by Mr. Robertson, Duck Dynasty will continue filmin...

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Funny story: Rush Limbaugh Denies That His Weight Gain Is Due To An Obsession With Pickles

Rush Limbaugh Denies That His Weight Gain Is Due To An Obsession With Pickles

NEW YORK CITY - Conservative radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh is reportedly upset at a recent story he read in a supermarket tabloid. Limbaugh stated that as he was standing in the checkout line at a local grocery store he happened to notice the...

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Funny story: IRS continues to target conservative political groups (and everyone else)

IRS continues to target conservative political groups (and everyone else)

WASHINGTON, DC - After weeks of denying that he had ever even heard of the Infernal Revenue Service, President Barack Obama admitted, today, that White House Counsel Kathyrn Ruemmler knew of the agency's unconstitutional targeting of conservative pol...

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Funny story: Coast to Toast

Coast to Toast

I just returned from a business trip to Vancouver and Seattle with some of my colleagues. Now, being relatively new to working for a company that affords such luxuries as jet setting around the country on someone else's dime, I was somewhat dismissive about the cautionary advice from colleagues who had previously embarked on the same trip, about how exhausting and fast paced it can be. Come on. Re...

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