A jubilee party in Chutney on the Fritz was as much of a disaster as everyone thought it was going to be.
Brian Asshat threw a lot of his shoes at people for no apparent reason, spoiling the punch bowl and the trifle in the process. Thomas Johnson sat next to Sarah Fitzmaurice for a titled teenage conversation about Kate Bush, it rained, and then Phylis from number 72 said something racist, whilst her husband Basil said something incredibly sexist.
'We thought it would be a nice thing to invite the crescent round to celebrate the Jubilee together' said organiser Lorraine Johnson 'We made loads of Coronation Chicken, pizzas and a fruit punch, that sparked a lot of the problems.'
Husband Gary joined in 'Honestly, we really needn't have bothered, still, I have a nice pair of Brian's shoes, who knew we were the same size? It hasn't been a complete waste of an afternoon, to be honest.'
