Queen Elizabeth On BBC HARDtalk For Jubilee Interview

Funny story written by K.C. Bell

Wednesday, 1 June 2022

image for Queen Elizabeth On BBC HARDtalk For Jubilee Interview
"I'm with the Queen! That skirt is the greatest!"

In added celebration of her Platinum Jubilee, Queen Elizabeth will be a guest of the BBC Hardtalk with moderator Stephen Sackur asking the questions.

However, one of the Queen's assistants warned that Mr. Sacker might be a bit abrasive, adding he is also of the habit of asking follow-up questions.

"Let me at him," she replied. "Any subject has my green light and is a go."

The assistant suggested that Mr. Sackur could inquire about her horses and her gambling habit, her children's divorces, Fergie's toe-sucking episode, the problem with Andrew, Philip's wandering eye, and the Hollywood chapter.

"No problem. I'll make mincemeat out of Sackur. I can answer anything he asks! I'll answer the time of day to whether I think Putin should resign. And if Putin should give up that vulgar nouveau-riche palace, he erected, ignoring his citizen's needs and building it to emulate the house of my late Russian cousin. You tell me: What kind of Communist lives in a castle? Huh? Huh? Do you think I can't go ten rounds with that girl scout? Give me a break. I was married to Philip, like forever. I sharpened my teeth on Philip. And he was solid stone. I see other men as leftover rainy day Tuesday brunch."

Her assistant quickly apologized.

Boris Johnson voiced an unsolicited opinion, saying he felt that an interview with Stephen Sackur would be ill-advised.

"Having over ten drunken blasts at Number 10 during Covid lockdown is an example of ill-advised, unprofessional, and irresponsible. The man should have a quick brain check. Not for size, but for location."

The assistant again silently nodded.

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The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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