Rishi Sunak doesn't know what taxes are

Funny story written by Sir Geoffroy Cockface

Saturday, 9 April 2022

image for Rishi Sunak doesn't know what taxes are
A chauffeur once received this gold as a tip from Rishi Sunak

Chancellor Rishi Sunak has revealed that despite managing the finances of the UK, he doesn't actually know what taxes are. When asked by a journalist at a press conference, he said, "Is that what you call it? The money that all those people give to the government? I thought they were just bribes, like the ones I pay to Boris."

Sunak has also received criticism for his wife's non-payment of UK tax. She lives in an enormous mansion in India, where she sleeps on a mound of gold. Rishi spends a lot of time there with her, but he owns a summer house in the UK at 11 Downing Street, where he also works part-time as chancellor. He has said that the job is "just a hobby", and that he would rather be at home counting his wife's billions.

"I love counting money, me," he said.

Prime Minister Boris Johnson said, "I can't think of anyone better than Rishi to run the UK's budget. Honestly I can't."

He added, "Also his wife shouldn't have to pay taxes in the UK because she is a condom. I mean a non-dom. I always get mixed up between those two things because I have no idea what either of them are."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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