Conservative Minister the Right Honourable Roger Mywife has launched a crowdfunding campaign for a new moral compass for the conservatives, as their one seems to be broken.
The bearded 73-year-old said 'Have you seen my teeth? No, I will go on about this without them then. Anyway, for a few years, well really, since Brexit we have known that the Conservative's Moral Compass has been broken, and we thought that now even other conservatives have been talking about it, it was time to get a new one. I mean, it is a sign of things when John Mayor pokes his nose in when it is not wanted'.
'Yes' interjected John Mayor 'Back to basics, family first, that is what we need to get back to'.
Anyone wishing to contribute to the fund is asked to check their moral compass before doing so.
