A 27 year old woman has been forced to give up Rumbacize after contracting ammonia poisoning from the smell of piss in the air at classes and becoming middle aged.
“Of course I’d seen the Tena Lady adverts,” Clitora Flange said. “I just didn’t think incontinence was a requirement to take up Rumbacize and, even though I’ve got full bladder control, I thought I’d give it a go.”
However, after a few sessions, Flange was showing the symptoms of a full-blown case of menopause. These include the urge to get ‘Live Laugh Love’ painted on the lounge wall, saying, ‘Ooh he could bang me up’ about that one out of Line of Duty and describing anyone you have a ‘cheeky gin’ with as your ‘partner in crime’.
At present, there is no known cure. Miss Flange is currently adapting to her new lifestyle by following the Loose Women on Instagram ‘because they’re just so real, the kind of girls who’d be a hoot on a night out’ and wearing tops that ‘you can dress up or down’.
