"Spin-doctor Supremo", Dominic Cummings, has just revealed what really went on behind the sacred doors of the PM's residence during the first months of the Covid19 pandemic! Here exclusively for lovers of Jaggedone's pure impudence, and controversy, are the true revelations found stuffed under a Persian rug in Johnson's HQ, and discovered by JO's scumbag CIA (Cockroach Infiltration Army)!
Take a seat and hold on to your wigs because these revelations by Cummings and, hidden by Boris, will blow your tiny minds
Cummings, "When I told Boris a massive disaster is about to hit the UK he answered,"
"Old Bean, I have much more important things on my mind, my back tire on my bike has a puncture, let old Hancock take care of it!"
Cummings, " I told Boris, you must sack Hancock immediately he is an utter Dummkopf!'"
His reply:"Dear Dominic old chap, now that's German, and as you know I have spun our way out of the EU majestically, please stick to English!"
Cummings, "I asked the Prime Minister, shall we let dead bodies pile high, or will you act now?"
Boris's answer:"Oh Domi, old Bean, all those old bags in Caring Homes are going to pop their clogs anyway, so let this damn virus do the job quicker, and in our wonderful nation we have enough empty graveyards, not like those heathens over there in India, tut, tut, the Ganges pongs terribly!"
Cummings, "I pleaded to Boris, could you give an alibi for my silly trip to Durham before those damn tabloid paparazzi spew out lie after lie?"
He answered: "No problem Dominic old Friend, I'll just tell the Daily Mail and Express, such dear allies, that your house was being attacked by lefty yobbos, that'll shut them up!"
Cummings, "I begged to BOJO, could you please wipe that board clean in your meeting room before I photograph those terrible messages left by your ministers?"
His answer:"Dominic, you rascal, would you stab my back? OK, I'll feed the cat and let my cleaner wipe that garbage away immediately!"
Cummings, "Dear Boris I begged, enough is enough, I cannot take your glib attitude towards this terrible pandemic which is killing people in the UK, I'm F'ing off!"
He answered:"Oh Domi, my dearest Spin doctor, please go if you must, but be careful if you divulge any of my stupidity, the MI5 will get you!"
Cummings," Fuck the MI5, I'm more scared of the Daily Mail and Express!"
His reply:"Dear Domi Old Bean, maybe you are right, they employ many dark, sinister figures too to get their filthy work done! Old Chap, please close the front door when leaving our cat could catch a draught, I don't want him dying too!"
So, readers, believe who you want, but if you believe Jaggedone's CIA, at least you will laugh dying!