Britain's post-Brexit future is looking bright, after trade minister Liz Truss announced a trade deal with the completely non-fictional African nation of Nambia.
The deal means that bush meat supplies to the UK will be secure, allowing kebab shops to purchase monkey meat in bulk. Kebab shop owner Geoff Doneropoulos was ecstatic. "It's nice to have a proper elephant's trunk," he said.
As part of the terms of the deal, Nambia will receive a truckload of old Elton John CDs for their own domestic market. The ageing singer is renowned in the country, where he is the British equivalent of Uncle Ben. As "Blind Daddy Couscous", his bespectacled face is used to sell everything from Pot Noodle to pork pies.
Economists were excited by the news. Geoff Count said, "If you pay me an extra thousand in unmarked notes, I'll say it's the best trade deal in history."
