First man to willingly suffer fools gladly dies whilst suffering fools gladly

Funny story written by DJ_Beef_Crisps

Friday, 9 April 2021

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Gerald Footspa, 41, who willingly suffered fools gladly

The first man ever to die whilst suffering fools gladly has died, aged 41.

Gerald Footspa, 41, of Ipswich, Suffolk, had dedicated his entire life to the unique pursuit of suffering fools gladly, by suffering as many fools as possible, without any regret or remorse, despite the warnings of well-wishers.

During his lifetime, he had:

  • Purchased and utilised several chocolate fireguards, only to see them melt after one use
  • Claimed several lottery wins in Nigeria, by paying an upfront administration fee via Moneygram, only to not receive the prize fund.
  • Responded to an email in his spam folder that offered 15,888.95 USD in Bitcoin in exchange for a modest administrative fee, only for the Bitcoins to not materialise
  • Agreed to meet the invisible man, only to find that he didn't appear at the agreed time and location
  • Provided all his personal details to a cold caller that offered insurance to anyone who had "recently been in an accident that wasn't your fault", despite not having recently been in an accident

Well wishers have offered their condolences, remarking that Gerald proudly rejected the perceived wisdom of not suffering fools gladly.

Friends have remarked that Gerald had a unique connection and empathy to anyone who wished to make a fool of others. One of his close friends, Harold Perspirant, said "If there's one thing I will always remember about Gerald, it's that he did suffer fools gladly, and I hope and pray that that is how he is remembered".

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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