Terry Heckingthwaite, a six-month-old tin of spam from the corner shop knows that he is going to spend the last few precious moments of his life on the Harvest Table at the local church. 'Yes' said the morose collection of tin, label, and unidenti…
The first man ever to die whilst suffering fools gladly has died, aged 41. Gerald Footspa, 41, of Ipswich, Suffolk, had dedicated his entire life to the unique pursuit of suffering fools gladly, by suffering as many fools as possible, without any…
(NOT EDITED) It has been confirmed by US and UK scientists that consuming too much 'SPAM' is a deadly disease. In fact, both variations, the porky type, and the cyber type, cause depression, suicide, obesity, and smelly breath, among other symptoms.
A 54-year-old man from Whitechapel, in East London, felt an overwhelming sense of hope and joy after a spam email he opened in the early hours of Boxing Day contained the promise of lasting relief from the misery of toenail fungus. Toby Dell, a me...
"Spam recalls 228,000 pounds of pork and or chicken because people are being cut by metal when attempting to feed!" It's bad enough of the shame one feels for his or herself when you are buying Spam to eat without it being a joke. If you are planning a dinner with friends and you thought it would be funny to prepare a Spam appetizer, then that is okay. But, I'm talking about those people wh...
While Clinton supporters say they would trust her with the nations nuclear codes, most of her campaign contributors do not trust her with their email addresses. A source in the Clinton machine tells us the campaign has a fraction of the email addr...
Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. Sometimes I'm bored and don't do my job right. I'm guilty of the following bad deeds: -- Just to foul up the works, I often grab up some non-spam emails and refuse to let them out of my clutches. I enjoy the confusion, scheduling conflicts, and pandemonium that results. Yes! -- My computer owner is obnoxious and full of himself, so last week I let a lo...
Spammer's Heaven… …where everyone believes poorly written lies and language syntax and spelling aren't important …where credit card numbers fall from the sky …where everyone's email and twitter passwords are 12345 …where nobody can say no to black market cialis …where captchas have been banished to spammer's hell …where everyone always forgets that they didn't enter foreign lotte...
WHITEWASHINGton, DC - The Associated Press (AP) has discovered that President Barack ("Barry") Obummer's, uh, Obama's administration, in the interest of "government transparency," has set up secret offshore email accounts and may be using them to cov...
The President of the Palestinian Authority, Mahmoud Abbas, is now up in arms over spam texts, although, it must be added that on this occasion, it's not firearms. Palestinians throughout Gaza are being inundated with unwanted spam text messages ur...
CONCORD, NH-Findings from a recent poll taken by the University of New Hampshire show that 95% of Hotmail accounts were created as a result of people not wanting to register their good emails when prompted to do so by shady sites. "Sure, I'll tak...
The Microsoft offices in Sacramento are calling in the cleaners this morning after the servers hosting their Hotmail email accounts exploded covering everything with cooked Spam. "A lot of people have been overusing their Hotmail email accounts of...
British Telecom introduced a way of blocking unwanted sales calls called the Telephone Preference List (TPL) a few years before the Post Office introduced a similar service for unwanted circulars through the letterbox. Now Neighbourhood Watch are...
GMAIL, INTERNET - Darren Roberts, 23, received an electronic message in his Google Mail account. The message, which consisted of the heading Valentine's Day Photos from Me, Your Lady-friend ;) and the subject Nude Pics and contained the message Yo...
Following the news that Foreign Office computers have recently suffered an infection of the Zeus Trojan, it has emerged that the UK Government is currently employing people stupid enough to click on links found in unsolicited emails. "Some of the...
Obama watchers have grown increasingly concerned as the 50 year old President appears to be wasting away before their eyes ever since his recent Hawaii get away and his binge eating away from the Secret Food Police hired by Moochelle to strictly enf...
Spam, spam, spam, made famous by Monty Python and ever since then globally known as one of the worst things mankind has ever invented is on the retreat. Levels of it have been falling significantly over the last couple of years proving that junk i...
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