Man Dies After Refusing Coronavirus Vaccine

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Sunday, 28 March 2021

image for Man Dies After Refusing Coronavirus Vaccine
Albert also travelled through Russia in his 80s, but he's dead now

There was a major controversy brewing this evening over the potential dangers of refusing a Coronavirus vaccination, after it was announced that a man from Essex who had been offered - and had stubbornly refused - a COVID-19 shot, had subsequently died only three weeks later.

The man who died, Albert Heinstein, from Braintree, was 99.

A keen golfer, amateur angler and mountain bike enthusiast, the former steeplejack had recently returned from a moutaineering expedition in Nepal, and a mangrove river cruise in Vietnam, when he reported feeling "queer" at his doctor's surgery. It was thought that he may have picked up an infected mosquito bite, but subsequent tests proved these fears were groundless.

He was then offered vaccination shots for COVID-19, but refused.

Heinstein had a list of illnesses as long as your arm, and they were so numerous, as well as life-threateningly serious, it would seem to be a complete waste of time and column space naming them here.

Despite this, Mr. Heinstein died from natural causes on Friday evening. Relaxing in front of his television with a cup of cocoa after arriving home from his Karate class, he passed away peacefully in his sleep.

Completely unaffected by the Coronavirus, he will, however, be remembered as the man who died just 21 days after refusing the lifesaving vaccine.

Because that's how the government can keep people worried enough, so that they do as they're told, and become part of the vaccine programme.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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