Kansas Shuts Down It’s One and Only Beach During Spring Break

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Friday, 19 March 2021

image for Kansas Shuts Down It’s One and Only Beach During Spring Break
Two college coeds relaxing on man-made, Alfalfa Beach, Kansas the day before it was closed.

ALFALFA BEACH, Kansas – (Satire News) – The state of Kansas, has decided that in the interest of public safety, it’s lone beach will be shut down during Spring Break.

Most Americans had no idea that landlocked Kansas even had a beach.

Noted Kansas historian Rufus P. Applewater, told BuzzFuzz, that back in 1942, during World War II, Kansas billionaire Ciprian Acorn, III, had a beach put in on his 37,000 acre alfalfa ranch.

Acorn’s 4 sons were all fighting the Germans and the Japanese, in Europe and the Pacific, and so he decided to put in a man-made beach on his ranch, so his 4 daughters-in-law, and 17 grandchildren could help pass the time.

He said that Galveston Beach, Malibu Beach, and Pensacola Beach, were all much too far to drive to for the week-end.

So he spent $4.7 million to ship in sand from Guadalajara Beach, sea shells from Corpus Christi Beach, and seagulls from Miami Beach, and he put in what is still today, the world’s only landlocked man-made beach.

As word got around, Time Magazine, Life Magazine, and Afro Sheen Magazine named Acorn, the Best Grandfather in the Entire World.

Alfalfa Beach is still going strong except for now, that it has been shut down as per the National Committee on Coronavirus Beach Policy.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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