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Funny satire stories about Manchester

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Funny story: Return of the piss vans

Return of the piss vans

Urination vehicles have not been seen in Manchester since the 1950s. In those days it was the rarity of toilets that meant many locals were happy to literally "spend a penny" to take a pee in one. Yet now, with coronavirus ravaging parts of the No…

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Funny story: The North is in trouble and that’s official.

The North is in trouble and that’s official.

Concerns over misinterpretation of the north of England lock-down measures have resulted in a Burnley man being refused entry into a Kent pub, because he’s a northerner. He was then sat on by a Polish fruit picker, until he was escorted back to the b…

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Funny story: Creative Free-Thinker Movie Certain To Be Hit

Creative Free-Thinker Movie Certain To Be Hit

A Hollywood movie about a creative, free-thinking writer and comedian is set to wow audiences when it's released into cinemas early next year, and it's already been vaunted as a possible Oscar nominee. The film is called 'I'm Different!', and cost…

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Funny story: Football clubs are under pressure to review their names so no one is offended - Arsenal are twitching

Football clubs are under pressure to review their names so no one is offended - Arsenal are twitching

British teams are considering name changes in response to sensitive public opinion. ‘Public opinion is like a powder keg,' said the Arsenal chairman. 'If we get this wrong, the result could be explosive.’ Manchester City’s new owner, Billy O’L…

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Funny story: Man Decides To Have A 'Durutti Column Weekend'

Man Decides To Have A 'Durutti Column Weekend'

A man who loves listening to music, but who hasn't had the chance for a 'maximum blowout' in a very long time, will put that right this weekend, and will stage one at his home, featuring his Durutti Column collection. Moys Kenwood, 56, has followe...

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Funny story: Local Man Denies Writing Comeback Rumours

Local Man Denies Writing Comeback Rumours

Local man, and once prolific writer of absolute bollocks, crap jokes, sob stories, knob-related gubbins and generally unfunny shite, Martin Shuttlecock, today denied that he was all set for a writing comeback. Speaking today from the tiny caravan...

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Funny story: Harry Maguire The Victim Of Sliding Tackle Near Manchester Arndale Centre

Harry Maguire The Victim Of Sliding Tackle Near Manchester Arndale Centre

There was controversy in Manchester's main shopping area yesterday afternoon, when United's new £80million signing, central defender, Harry Maguire, was the victim of a mindless attack from a member of the general public who approached the player at...

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Funny story: Spitting llama escapes from Liverpool zoo and is arrested in Manchester!

Spitting llama escapes from Liverpool zoo and is arrested in Manchester!

An ex-Liverpudlian llama saw red on Saturday after breaking out of his cage in Liverpool Zoo along the Anfield Road. He was seen running towards a forbidden zone for Liverpudlian spitting llamas called Old Trafford, Manchester, where many strange ani...

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Funny story: Pay and display on M60

Pay and display on M60

A pay and display scheme is to be introduced on the M60, a spokesman said today. "If people are going to spend hours and hours sitting in their stationary cars on prime Manc real estate, it seems obvious to me that they should pay for it." Said 'H...

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Funny story: Man moans on Twitter about trying to write shopping list while shooting takes place outside

Man moans on Twitter about trying to write shopping list while shooting takes place outside

32 year old Simon Smith of Moss Side, Manchester has moaned about trying to write his shopping list as gang members shoot each other directly outside his house. Average resident Mr Smith took to Twitter to 'tell off' local gang members Kid Lowride...

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Funny story: Old Salford Sense of Humour

Old Salford Sense of Humour

There have been fewer migrant incursions into the Channel Tunnel as word spreads through the Calais camp about what life in Britain is really like. I come to Britain because I thought it was fair, decent and beautiful country," said one man who id...

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Funny story: Discarded flea-ridden mattress trend sweeps through Dalston, East London

Discarded flea-ridden mattress trend sweeps through Dalston, East London

Demand for old mattresses "full of fleas" has soared in recent months in the infamously hipster Dalston district in northeast London. Imported from north Manchester, the increasingly expensive showpiece is now regularly seen on balconies throughout t...

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Funny story: Police arrest man who failed to use knife and fork in Didsbury restaurant

Police arrest man who failed to use knife and fork in Didsbury restaurant

Staff and diners were left disgusted when a man eating at a restaurant blatantly refused to use his knife and fork and ate with his fingers. The 52-year-old was eating a margherita pizza at Zizzi's restaurant in Didsbury, Manchester at 1pm today.

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Funny story: Teenager went for drunken night out in Oldham... and woke up in a crater on the moon

Teenager went for drunken night out in Oldham... and woke up in a crater on the moon

* Sam Barry was getting a cab home when he decided to go to the moon * Booked flight from phone and woke up at South Pole-Aitken basin, the capital crater of the moon * 19-year-old said he won't use passport as ID when he goes clubbing again...

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Funny story: Manchester United star Ashley Young banned from shopping for six months for speeding in supermarket aisle

Manchester United star Ashley Young banned from shopping for six months for speeding in supermarket aisle

Manchester United star Ashley Young has been banned from shopping for six months for speeding in a supermarket aisle. The 28-year-old England international admitted to pushing his trolley at 5mph on a 3mph section of Aisle 8 at the Tesco on Parrs...

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Funny story: David Moyes Man United timeline - What went wrong?

David Moyes Man United timeline - What went wrong?

One year on and we take a look back at David Moyes time as manager of Manchester United July 1st - Fails to recognise Wayne Rooney on first day at job. Despite managing him at Everton. Rooney never properly forgives him. July 18th - Moyes sugge...

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Funny story: Man Utd coach Van Gaal kills Ryan Giggs with his bare hands to assert dominance over squad

Man Utd coach Van Gaal kills Ryan Giggs with his bare hands to assert dominance over squad

It was supposed to be a milestone day for Football club Manchester United. With Dutch manager Louis Van Gaal returning from the World Cup to be presented to the United squad. However the day took an unusual turn when during a meeting with the player...

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