Wormhole of death

Funny story written by Erickson 2

Saturday, 26 September 2020

image for Wormhole of death
Mr. Zelong Dualo, after being captured.

Beijing, China- A brilliant Chinese researcher in China named "He Jiankui" grew a micro wormhole into a ten foot high wormhole that was connected to a habitable world in the Alpha Centauri solar system, for the first time ever.

As "He Jiankui" sat in a laboratory in Shenzhen in southern China's Guangdong province, he explained to Radio China, "I dectected micro-wave evidence of what appeared to be oxygen based carbon molecules coming from a small area in my lab," he continues, "I theorized that it was coming from a small wormhole, so I fed it gravitational energy and detected more carbon molecules as the wormhole grew larger."

He realized after experiments that the wormhole was connected to another region of space and the other end of the wormhole was inside of a world in the Alpha Centauri solar system.

He sent a probe through the wormhole that entered the other space and detected an atmosphere identical to the earth with green and blue plants and a futuristic city with advanced lifeforms that walk upright and have webbed skin.

It became a significant step, and it raised widespread ethical concerns among Chinese researchers when one of the lifeforms came through the wormhole accidentally. It was caught as it tried to escape through a Chinese neighborhood.

The Southern University of Science and Technology in Shenzhen, China where He is an associate professor released a statement that the lifeform has an I.Q. level of 4,000 as compared to the highest human I.Q. of 149.

The lifeform communicated that it's alien kind have been farming human beings on its planet, like cattle, for thousands of years. The humans on their planet are very bulky with muscles and are 5' 8", but were bred to have an I.Q. of 20. They are docile and obedient and don't argue or resist when taken to the meat factories for processing. Their intestines are used to make a national smoked sausage and their brains are used as an ingredient in a delicious, candied pudding.

The name of the lifeform is "Zelong Dualo" and the name of his world is called "Eden."

Mr. Dualo agreed to help Chinese researchers by closing the wormhole after he returns back to his world.

He was given a tour of China and it's reported that he is ready to go back home.

In the meantime, researchers treated Mr. Dualo to some human hamburgers made from cadaver's that were in the freezer at the local morgue.

"He seems to like the Coca-Cola we gave him and he's taking the recipe back home," said He Jiankui, with a smile.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more