"Face mask turned me gay"

Funny story written by Sir Geoffroy Cockface

Monday, 20 July 2020

image for "Face mask turned me gay"
Can you think of anything gayer than wearing a mask?

Geoff Woodcock, 37, from Bishop's Prepuce, is a lifelong heterosexual. He is proud to come from a long line of straight people, yet when he wore a face mask for the first time, he felt yearnings he had never imagined before.

"It was strange," said the now out Woodcock. "I've always liked women. Their tits, their arses, the lot. I never even thought about men in that way before."

He begins to break down as he describes the moment he became gay. "I put on the mask. It felt soft and lacy, like a kind of face-bra. I immediately felt like a transsexual, or a gay man dressing up and being feminised. The funny thing is, I actually liked it. I suddenly wanted to bend over and have a big muscly man grasp my thighs firmly and pound my anus."

Woodcock's experiences are not unique, but psychologist Bertha Reynolds was not convinced. "A face mask cannot turn you gay. It just doesn't happen, any more than forcing my son to watch Baywatch could turn him straight."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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