Festival Goer spent the weekend in a tent in his garden

Written by Ben Macnair

Sunday, 28 June 2020

image for Festival Goer spent the weekend in a tent in his garden
And for your delectation and entertainment, here's Gary from across the road

Gary Johnson, a Paul Weller fan and husband of Lorraine, has spent the weekend in a tent in his back garden, so that he doesn't lose the need to spend weekends in tents in strange fields with people two decades younger than himself when festivals start again next year.

He told us: 'I love a good festival, I do. A bit of loud music, some expensive cider, your favourite band playing, and a new young, hip and happening band exploding in the tent next door - you just can't replace it, can you?'

Gary's son, Tom, joined him for the Friday night. 'Yes, it was cool to begin with, he played his favourite Paul Weller album, and then some hardcore Jazz, which he pretended to like, but then it seemed a bit lame, and the rain was starting to come through the zip, so I just went to bed inside the house. Dad could have done the same, but he was determined to see the weekend out.'

As Gary explained: 'If I was at Glastonbury, or the Isle of Wight festival, a little bit of rain wouldn't have sent me packing, so why should this be any different?'

Wife Lorraine said: 'It was lovely. I had the whole bed to myself, and didn't have to put up with his snoring.'

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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