Boris makes it all about the people

Funny story written by Sir Geoffroy Cockface

Saturday, 14 December 2019

image for Boris makes it all about the people
Boris Johnson is the last Prime Minister of the UK

The announcement that Boris Johnson is going to call his government "The People's Government" has raised alarm bells around Westminster. Such names are common in dictatorships like North Korea, and the implication is that all previous governments were not chosen by "the people" at all. This is how dictatorships begin, with a laughable but disturbing title.

The self-styled "people's prime minister" does not intend to stop there. He plans to rename the country to "The People's Kingdom of United Peoples". Apparently, the first proposal was to call it "The People's United Kingdom", but Boris didn't like the acronym PUK, because he could then add an E on the end for a new catchphrase - "The People's United Kingdom, Energise!"

In the new PKUP, Boris Johnson's first act will be to legislate against all media organisations who attacked him during the election campaign, such as the BBC, Channel 4 and any broadsheet newspapers he hasn't been sacked from. Also any newspapers who have ever sacked him. In the sunny uplands of PKUP, the only allowed media will be The People newspaper, which will feature exclusively-positive messages about the new People's PM.

The Queen will become The People's Queen. London will be renamed The People's London, and the rest of the world will be referred to as Foreignland, a place where The People's People are no longer expected to travel to, and are no longer welcome.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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