Prince Edward Says Prince Andrew Has Been A Silly-Billy

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Friday, 22 November 2019

image for Prince Edward Says Prince Andrew Has Been A Silly-Billy
The Royal princes frolicking without a care in the world

After Prince Andrew had, with Her Majesty the Queen's permission, retired from public life earlier this week, his younger sibling, Prince Edward, added his voice to the mix, commenting that his brother had been:

"a silly-billy brothersy-wothersy."

Edward, or 'the Earl of Wessex', is 11th in line to the throne, and is largely forgotten about, as he usually keeps his nose clean and his mouth shut.

That changed yesterday.

Edward and Andrew are still very close. They meet up every Wednesday at Buckingham Palace, and run around its corridors making a right racket. They enjoy wrestling out in the grounds, climbing trees, stealing birds' eggs, and recreating famous historical English battles. Sometimes, they dress up.

But Edward had some harsh words for Andrew after the latter's rape allegations. He said:

"He's been a naughty boysy-woysy with that girl. He's got to learn to keep his handy-pandies inside his mittens, and his mittens inside his pockets. Goodness knows what Mother will do when she finds out! There's sure to be an awful to-do!"

Andrew, who is 8th in line, and who also has 'no chance', told the Queen yesterday that, what with all the nasty media pressure on his delicate shoulders at the moment, he thought it might be a jolly good idea for him to take a rest from his 'duties', and she agreed, knowing what 'a liability' is.

Edward said:

"He's going to put his pinky-winky little trotters up, and have a piggy-nap. A piggy-wiggy nap! All cute and cuddly, curled up like a kitten in its basket in front of the fire."

Despite the disappointment of not being able to continue his valuable 'work', Andrew will now have much more time for play, something that Edward was excited about. He frothed:

"We'll play marbles, hide-and-seek, and conkers! It's going to be so much fun! What an absolute whizz!"

He then fired an arrow from a wooden bow, and ran away, chuckling with delight.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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