Cryptic Factor

Written by Backandtotheleft

Friday, 30 August 2019

image for Cryptic Factor
I just wish my entire life was followed by the caption (Feat Pitbull)

Drunk Halloween costume and current UK Prime Minister, Boris Johnson, has claimed that MPs trying to block a no-deal Brexit are, in fact, just making one more likely to happen.

Johnson said:

"I deeply believe in the merits of “backwardsism” which is where, of course, you reverse your positions and beliefs on things on an hourly basis. So by that theory, my hypothesis is, once again, one of revisionism. So when someone calls for a deal with the EU to be struck, all I hear is that they want me to carry on with my no-deal march. It’s simple really."

A large number of MPs are increasingly worried that the raging tosspot that is now driving the Brexit bus doesn’t have a very solid grip on reality. In fact, the only thing he seems to want to have a solid grip on is intern’s arses.

A Westminster source said:

"There’s a growing number of my peers that are incredibly worried at the direction Johnson wants to take us in. It’s almost like he’s playing playground politics with the EU. “I’m taking my ball home if you don’t let me go up front”, but this is a bit of a silly analogy because we all know Johnson had fuck all friends when he was a kid.

But bullish Johnson will have none of it saying:

"I will have none of it."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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