Dalai Lama admits he's a “sexist pig”

Written by Gee Pee

Tuesday, 2 July 2019

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Shangri-La, Tibet—Asked what he would expect in a successor if the next dalai lama were female, the current Dalai Lama said, “She would have to be attractive to me, because, for me, in a woman, beauty is more important than brains.”

He then giggled as he added, “She should be able to fill out a thong bikini,” admitting that, “yes, I am an ass man.”

He clarified his statements, explaining, “But boobs are important, too. A female dalai lama should be well-rounded.”

When feminist reporters with the BBC told His Holiness that his observations were “hurtful” to women, he replied, “I am also a sadist.”

A public relations representative said the Dalai Lama “never meant to offend anyone,” but suggested “people need to grow a pair—except female people, of course.”

He admires women, often secretly, and believes “if the world had more T&A, there would be more pieces of ass.”

He meant to say “peace,” his PR representative insists, and what sounded like “of ass” was merely a sneeze. “He sneezes like that all the time.”

“Under all these robes, I'm just a man, like anyone else, except beautiful women," the Dalai Lama admitted. "I'm just a sexist pig.”

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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