NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – One of the sexiest celebrities in America has just revealed that her New Year’s resolution was to get a brand new tattoo on her ample ass. Jennifer Lopez told Bedroom Pillow Talk’s Carolina Chipotle that her fiancé,…
The Seattle consumer computer goods fair was treated to the rare sight of the President of Google dropping her pants to showcase the tech giant's latest product, the BS900, which is designed to scratch the user’s bottom. The robot will not have a nam…
Washington DC/ Ms. Scarfo Brick of the COWVID19 task-force explained to a subdued, masked, gagged, bedraggled, whipped and bound gaggle of reporters in the Rose Garden today that it was COVID19 that killed all those folks recently In Beirut. She e…
Geoff Shitter, 47, of Bishop's Prepuce, wiped his arse clean with toilet paper today, after taking a large dump. "Ooh, it were right satisfying," said the unemployed logger. "I barely had to squeeze at all." He said that the large turd dropped out…
As anybody who has ever rode a racing bike over a long distance will know, getting a red-hot, saddle sore bum belongs to the pleasure! However, one ageing racing bike rider in Holland, during a marathon 165 km trip, found the ride not so pleasurab…
It was a quiet Tuesday afternoon in a tea room in Chaffinch St Cock, when a disheveled man entered with his garments loose and improper. His trousers only came up to the bottom part of his buttock cheeks, and his patterned blue and red underpants wer…
Here are some interesting facts you might not know about your anus. Your anus is the coldest place in the solar system. Your anus is tilted at 98 degrees. Your anus has its own atmosphere. Your anus is made up largely of ammonia and metha...
Shangri-La, Tibet—Asked what he would expect in a successor if the next dalai lama were female, the current Dalai Lama said, “She would have to be attractive to me, because, for me, in a woman, beauty is more important than brains.” He then giggl...
San Francisco, CA (UPU) Scientists here have modeled the first smartass phone. Butt dialing has reached a new level as demonstrated by models walking the catwalk here, wearing nothing but the totally flexible phone screens covering strategic body...
Berkeley, CA - The Gilipollas Clinic, according to BLM activists here, is awash with clients getting penis darkening laser treatments. Ironically the opposite is happening in Thailand As reported here. Here in Berkeley, pale members of BLM are...
Big Bend, TX - Scientists working with big agriculture have increased chicken breast size Texas style. The mutant chickens resulting from the work, according to local farmer Culo Gordo, are increasing profits by 126 percent. According to our sci...
Winston-Salem, NC [PP] -- Doctors at Wake Forest Medical Center are perplexed at a sudden increase of problems in patients buttocks. They blame the Internet for the cause, based on the reports of some patients. "I was just laughing away while mess...
Osucit, Japan - Ken Assosuka of the Osucit Power and Light Company held a press conference today to reveal a new process for burning coal that reduces CO2 emissions to zero. The new process captures the CO2 and uses it to carbonate saki, orange juic...
Kim Jong's Buns - North Kiarrhea It was a bloody mess at the launching pad today as members of US special forces reported seeing a horrible missile test failure. When the Jongdong II missile ignited, it fissiled for several minutes. Kim Jong...
Washington DC - While Hillary Clinton's campaign is subject to the "drip, drip, drip" of embarrassing emails, Republican nominee Donald Trump's Presidential Campaign is facing a deluge of stories about past sexual conduct that has taken a serious tol...
New technology startup W&P announced today that they have raised 12 million in funding from private investors. The smartphone app is fighting to become the first of its kind. W&P, which stands for Wiped and Pretty, tracks the progress of us...
It's not the location. Or the beautiful white sands. Or the ice-blue water. Or the spectacular, pristine scenery. It's not even the hospitable locals. Siesta Beach near Sarasota, Florida, has been named The Best Beach in America by Beachcombers, a...
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