San Francisco, CA (UPU) Scientists here have modeled the first smartass phone. Butt dialing has reached a new level as demonstrated by models walking the catwalk here, wearing nothing but the totally flexible phone screens covering strategic body...
Berkeley, CA - The Gilipollas Clinic, according to BLM activists here, is awash with clients getting penis darkening laser treatments. Ironically the opposite is happening in Thailand As reported here. Here in Berkeley, pale members of BLM are...
Big Bend, TX - Scientists working with big agriculture have increased chicken breast size Texas style. The mutant chickens resulting from the work, according to local farmer Culo Gordo, are increasing profits by 126 percent. According to our sci...
Winston-Salem, NC [PP] -- Doctors at Wake Forest Medical Center are perplexed at a sudden increase of problems in patients buttocks. They blame the Internet for the cause, based on the reports of some patients. "I was just laughing away while mess...
Osucit, Japan - Ken Assosuka of the Osucit Power and Light Company held a press conference today to reveal a new process for burning coal that reduces CO2 emissions to zero. The new process captures the CO2 and uses it to carbonate saki, orange juic...
Kim Jong's Buns - North Kiarrhea It was a bloody mess at the launching pad today as members of US special forces reported seeing a horrible missile test failure. When the Jongdong II missile ignited, it fissiled for several minutes. Kim Jong...
Washington DC - While Hillary Clinton's campaign is subject to the "drip, drip, drip" of embarrassing emails, Republican nominee Donald Trump's Presidential Campaign is facing a deluge of stories about past sexual conduct that has taken a serious tol...
New technology startup W&P announced today that they have raised 12 million in funding from private investors. The smartphone app is fighting to become the first of its kind. W&P, which stands for Wiped and Pretty, tracks the progress of us...
It's not the location. Or the beautiful white sands. Or the ice-blue water. Or the spectacular, pristine scenery. It's not even the hospitable locals. Siesta Beach near Sarasota, Florida, has been named The Best Beach in America by Beachcombers, a...
Goodbye arsehole! Fat, wrinkled, old, or simply past its sell by date? Here are 10 tips to grow a replacement arse. 1) Buy good quality arse seeds or plants to avoid disappointment. 2. When you start your arse farm don't try and do it all at once. Put bin bags over a portion of the garden to kill off any weeds and just cultivate a portion of the land that you feel comfortable with at th...
According to Kim Kardashian she's tired of the jokes about her behind so she went to a beach, let the cameramen and reporters know ahead of time and worn a teen bikini that revealed her butt for everyone to see. "There, I hope everyone is happy no...
Of all the freaky things to happen, a fertility clinic which sells sperm to allow females to get pregnant by someone she admires or would like a son or daughter to have a great singing voice, all types, purchase sperm at a high price. So when they...
DETROIT - Miley performed at The Carburetor Coliseum in Detroit and afterwards she met with Hollywood Innuendo's Fajita San Guacamole at a local Le Loins of Joan of Arc French Restaurant. Miss San Guacamole asked Miley about the rumor that she had...
ALMOST HEAVEN, WV - The West By God Virginia Teachers' Union is up in arms over a proposed dress code for the state's educators, which forbids flip-flops, jeans, tank tops, and facial piercings, among other "attire." "How dare they tell me how to...
ROUND ASS VILLAGE, FL - "If you dare to bare," Mayor Ima Blueblood warns would-be exhibitionists, "beware: in Round Ass, we don't want to see your derriere." In fact, being too cheeky in Ima's town could result in a month's sentence to jail fo...
HOUSTON, WE HAVE A PROBLEM, TEXASS -- The Pre-Labor Day Pregnant Belly Bikini Contest has a mission. "It's not all about T&A, like most bikini contests," says Boo Bee, the contest's creator. "It's about women's self-images, about their self-co...
That's the word that's going around and it's really sad, most critics are saying. Being weird and nasty was once a way to get attention or being eccentric but this is all ham. It went through it's phase several years ago and even Madonna looks lik...
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