Dogwalker Jailed For Failing To Pick Up Dog Shit

Written by Geissler

Wednesday, 26 June 2019

image for Dogwalker Jailed For Failing To Pick Up Dog Shit
Posters are displayed at the town's beaches

A man in Scarborough was given a custodial sentence on Friday, after he told a judge he would have no intention of paying any fine levied against him for his failure to pick up a dog shit that his pet had left on one of the town's beaches.

Ian Brasshat, 48, was photographed by a nosey woman as he walked his dog, Mitzi, along Scarborough's North Bay beach last October. During the course of the walk, Mitzi felt the call of nature, and, being out of range of any toilet facilities, dropped her pups off on the beach.

This was seen by local busybody and the town's only former KGB agent, Sabrina Tash. She advised Brasshat to dispose of the dog eggs properly, but, when he refused, Tash took a snap for posterity, then notified the police.

On Friday, at Scarborough magistrates court, Judge Melvyn Watkins gave the dogwalker the option to pay the £1,000 fine, or go to jail for six months.

Brasshat told the court he'd rather eat a dog shit than pay £1,000, and the six-month prison sentence was then given.

Mitzi escaped punishment.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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