How Not to Avoid Jury Duty

Written by Ralph E. Shaffer

Sunday, 17 March 2019

Pomona, CA. An elderly man who thought he should have been excused from jury duty for medical reasons reluctantly appeared at the municipal court here last Monday when jury officials rejected his claim. He still hoped that the judge would recognize his disability and send him home. Their exchange follows:

Juror: Your honor, I should have been excused. I'm legally blind.

Judge: That makes you the perfect candidate for jury duty. Don't you remember the old saying, "Justice is blind."

Only slightly dismayed, but puzzled because he thought that was the most legitimate excuse from jury duty, the juror tried with his reserve excuse.

Juror: But Your Honor, I'm nearly deaf and can't hear the testimony.

Judge: An even better reason for jury service. Deaf, dumb and blind.

Juror: No, Your Honor, I can speak. I'm not dumb, only deaf and blind.

Judge: You misunderstand. You're blind and deaf, and all the attorneys who lose cases in my court think I'm dumb. Take your seat in the jury box.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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