Look at the size of my fish...

Written by Ben Macnair

Saturday, 2 February 2019

image for Look at the size of my fish...
Not this again, Gary

Gary Thatcher Hogbottom, a single man of considerable means, is confused as to why the photos he puts up on Firestarter.web get him no attention from the opposite gender.

'I put up photos of all of the fish I catch,' said the balding, portly forty-something.

'I think, if I can catch a pike of that size, why can't I catch the eye of some fancy fillie. I say, gosh, crikey. I meant girl.'

Fellow Firestarter.web member, Heidi Bigginsthwaite, said 'I am from up north, like, and I am always interested in photos of men with big fish. It shows me that they can handle their own tackle. I like that in a man, I do, but this Gary seems a bit strange. All photos of fish, and none of him having a good time with people. Can you imagine what a date with a man like that might be like? I get chills just thinking about it, and not good chills.'

'Looks like I will be spending another day down at the river, with my maggots and sandwiches. Oh well, maybe the selfie I take tomorrow will be the one to bring all of the attention my way.'

It won't be.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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