Embattled PM, Theresa May, has spent the day meeting MPs in an attempt to achieve a “Brexit consensus” with the current one just being “plough on wildly until we hit a wall”.
Mrs May has met with an army of suited wank stains and walking beacons of 'why your ancestor shouldn’t have fucked their sisters' over the last 24 hours. But, as yet, nothing has come out of the talks with many MPs asking her to take the prospect of a “No Deal” off the table. She won't, of course, because that’s her failsafe, her big “fuck you“ to the country, when everything goes massively tits up.
Mrs May, of course, survived a vote of 'no confidence' in her government, after the DUP stopped jacking-off at pictures of pregnant women carrying their rapist’s child, and saved her.
She is hoping to find some common ground with other MPs from
other parties, and push on with the Brexit deal, which, at the moment, stands at “complete economic breakdown”, or “stay in the EU with no benefits or say, but still follow their rules”.
It’s a clusterfuck by our government, but one that will surely be blamed on EU fat cats, or immigrants, or the religion of Islam, or violent video games or....you get the idea.
Opposition leader, Jeremy Corbyn, said:
"No, I’ve not bothered meeting her. What’s the point? She’s a rampaging harridan, with all the charm of an infected haemorrhoid, and has literally no chance of achieving a consensus, because her party is full of the worst examples of people known to man. I’m tired of being civil, her and her party are cunts."