Written by Monkey Woods

Monday, 14 January 2019

image for A Bag Of Chips Could Be £3 After Brexit
D'ye want saltan vinegar on them, love?

The price of a bag of chips from a local fish and chip shop is likely to rise to £3 after Britain leaves the EU, voters have been warned, a revelation that struck fear into the hearts of the underclasses.

The Prime Minister, Theresa May, told reporters that the cost of importing potatoes from Europe would cause the cost of half of the country's staple diet to "career out of control", and there could be widespread shortages, leading to a 'Chip Famine'.

Mrs May, herself a lover of a pile of soggy chips slung in a greaseproof bag, and then wrapped in a newspaper, said she was worried that, at £3 a throw, many customers would be 'priced-out', and would turn to eating other things, such as grass and tree bark. Or flowers.

Customers are currently charged between £1.50 and £2.00 for a bag of chips, but any increase will severely impact upon the less fortunate members of society, who might well have to cut back on their cigarettes and alcohol consumption.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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