Written by Backandtotheleft

Tuesday, 3 April 2018

David Miliband (the brother of the bacon sandwich guy) has apologised for the MP’s expenses scandal. In which tonnes of MP’s thought “fuck you” to the tax payer and claimed on everything they could. £100 breakfasts, Grey Goose vodka for dictators and an army of small boys to fellate the Tory front bench were all bought with your taxes. But thankfully David has apologised for all that and fully intends...to give nothing of it back. Wait! What?

Although David is deeply moved by the fact he and his fellow “troughers” wasted as much of your money as they could. He isn’t moved enough to pay anything back.

Despite the fact Dave is so upset that he shat all over your trust that he wouldn’t abuse a expenses account he doesn’t want to clean up his own mess and give some of the money back. Why would he?

He’s just toeing the line of every other MP. Which is “fuck the voters we’ll do as we please”

The apology was delivered with as much sincerity as a cat saying sorry for pissing all over your bath towels. The cat isn’t going to clean it up and Dave isn’t going to pay back the money he admits he fucked out of the system.

David made the speech after getting a PR course in advanced apologising. Which he then slapped onto his expense account.

Both Milibands are cunts

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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