Two Fingers to the EU as UK Signs Trade Deal With Burkina Faso

Written by WykTheWicked

Saturday, 4 February 2017

image for Two Fingers to the EU as UK Signs Trade Deal With Burkina Faso
Post-Brexit Trade Never Looked More Colourful

"The United Kingdom is open for business, now more than ever," that was Prime Minister Theresa May's post-Brexit message to journalists gathered at No. 10 Downing Street yesterday. Words expelled with both vigor and pomp, she was speaking after signing a historic trade agreement with the African country of Burkina Faso. Relations between both delegations were described as cordial yet colorful.

Burkinese Minister for Trade & Rural Affairs, Dr. Konkinswinde Sawadogo affirmed this commitment, pledging that the West African Republic was relishing the opportunity to work closely with the post-Brexit Government in the foreseeable future. "It is true that both our nations have many things in common, including a deep love of mangoes and a burning hatred of all things French" - a statement sure to irk their former colonial masters.

May refused to go into specifics about this agreement, leading to heightened speculation what it may entail. Indeed, many commentators feel bewildered on what this deal means for The UK, wondering how an impoverished land-locked sub-Saharan state can somehow cushion the blow of the populist decision to snub The European Union - the largest trade bloc in the world with over 500 million consumers.

Outspoken TV pundit and former Labor MP, George Galloway, showed no respite brandishing May a "post-Victorian gillie-wet-foot with a nose like a parish church bell breastfeeding on a diet of lubberworth. Seriously", he ranted, "in this age of mass hysteria, it seems her commitment to wait for it, Burkina Faso, is unflinching. So, our masses will feel assured, knowing we are selling our soul to countries where the average worker earns less than $50 a month. What's next, the opening of Harrods in their capital, Ouagadougou? I'm sure The Queen will relish the prospect of traveling nearly 4,000 miles to open that! Thank God I'm Scottish, role on Referendum Part II, I'll drink 'til I pee through my arsh".

Meanwhile, Downing Street refused to deny nor confirm, media speculation linking Prince Philip to a possible one-to-one meeting in Buckingham Palace later this year with South American hardliner, Hugo Chavez.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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