Australia has announced plans to relax immigration laws on Brits, which is ironic as the Brits have just pulled up their own personal drawbridge to Europe.
Riding a kangaroo battle droid (one of several commissioned by the Australian armed forces) Alexander Downer, the trade Commissioner to the UK said:
"At the end of the day Brits are more than welcome in our country. The more the merrier! Bring your kids! Your grand kids and your grandparents. We've got loads of room!"
A seemingly open invite to all the estate pond life that floats along at the crust of British society.
UKIP supporter and all round bell end, Luke Tomlinson said:
"I'm not sure how I feel about this. I mean I hate immigrants but I love British people. But if British people move to Australia they become immigrants. But are they still British? A British immigrant is still a immigrant but maybe not as bad as a proper immigrant. I need to sit down."
We got him a pint of Best while he contemplated his personal conundrum.
Back and to the Left news were reassured that the newly opened boarders had "nothing to do" with reports that Australia's spider population had started devouring whole townships populations.