Written by Auntie Jean

Sunday, 21 December 2014

image for Jesus - I Don't Want Any More Sunbeams
Too many applications

Jesus has appealed to people not to try to be sunbeams, as he is snowed under with them. "He told our religious affairs journalist, "I don't know who wrote that fucking 'Jesus wants me for a sunbeam' song but since the financial crashes I've a million sunbeams all over the place. It never gets fucking dark in here.

They can all go to hell as far as I'm concerned. I've got all bloody sorts wanting to be sunbeams, bankers, bloody Archbishops, even a pope. If I had a quid for every chancer knocking at my door after sunbeam transmutation I'd be as rich as Jesus, Oops Cresus sorry.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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