Rangers CEO Bain - Battle lost but war still on

Funny story written by tinsoldier

Tuesday, 19 October 2010

image for Rangers CEO Bain - Battle lost but war still on

Angry Rangers supremo Martin Bain last night vowed to fight the proposed Government spending cuts as he prepared to go to war with the SFA.

The raging chief executive is angry that the Ark Royal is to be scrapped as he planned to launch strategic air strikes on Hampden from it later this month.

It is understood that Bain wanted to station the aircraft carrier on the Clyde and use Harrier jump jets but he has since learned that these will go to in the coalition review.

"I am angry, furious and apoplectic with rage at these cuts by the coalition" said Bain yesterday.

"I asked the Government what the situation was with the Ark Royal and it took them a full 11 days to come back and tell me I couldn't have it. That's unacceptable and I sincerely hope the new PM tightens up procedures as a matter of priority" he added.

Bain is also bitterly disappointed at the way the coalition informed him of the decision.

"I was expecting a telephone call from David Cameron himself but all I got was a letter delivered second class outlining the decision not to give me an aircraft carrier and six harrier jump jets. That's an unsatisfactory way to bring matters to a conclusion".

The affronted Ibrox mover and shaker revealed he has written to the Prime Minister outlining his concerns over the way the matter has been handled.

"I fired off a strong worded letter to David Cameron but I've not had a reply yet" said the livid Rangers power broker.

Bain refused to confirm whether he had now contacted Barack Obama by email to request Air Force One for the second week in November.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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