It is with great regret that we have to report that the England ladies football team today succumbed to defeat at the hands of the Germans, in Helsinki, Finland by a 6-2 margin.
In the final of the European Ladies Football championship.
The English have concluded that, following defeats to the German national team in the world cups of 1970 and 1990 in the blokes competition, that the only field in which the Brits can outdo their European allies is at shooting guns and dropping bombs.
"We're considering it," PM Gordo told us. "The sausage munchers have had the better of us since 1966. Apart from Manchester United shafting Bayern Munich good and proper in the Nou Camp in Barcelona in 1999. We are considering a military response. It all depends on how Uncle Barack's healthcare reforms go on in the States. And how much dosh they're prepared to lend us."
We will keep you posted.