Chelsea Sack Fans in Shock Move

Funny story written by Stiff Writer

Wednesday, 9 September 2009

image for Chelsea Sack Fans in Shock Move
Who will be filling the stands at Stamford Bridge next week?

Celebrity fans such as Boris Johnson and Johnny Vaughan are amongst those left without a club following Chelsea FC's shock announcement that they are sacking their supporters. The move has surprised many, but pundit Alan Hansen sees the logic behind the move

"In the last decade the club has seen the arrival of a billionaire owner, a series of high profile managers, and a large squad of world class players, yet their trophy room has remained largely empty. The fans were the only piece of the jigsaw still left to be replaced, and to be honest, they have always been the weakest link. Fans of visiting teams would often ask themselves whether they could hear Chelsea sing, and the answer was invariably: no, no."

Other London clubs are watching the situation nervously, with speculation centring on West Ham, who are rumoured to have a strained relationship with their own fans following an outbreak of violence at a recent game with Millwall. Some West Ham fans that we spoke to admitted the attractiveness of possible league and cup success offered by Chelsea.

"I can't see that happening," contests Hansen. "I'm sure that Frank Lampard would be happy to be reunited with West Ham's fans, but Chelsea will be looking for top flight supporters, probably from continental Europe or South America. Would they really be interested in West Ham fans? I don't think so."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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