Rooney wants to introduce three pointer in football.

Funny story written by Cumman

Monday, 7 September 2009


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Wayne Rooney, ugly, has suggested in a frank interview with lard-arse Martin Samuel, in the early hours of Sunday morning, that football should introduce a three pointer or a "three goaler", in his own words.

He believes that football should follow Basketball, in that any goal scored from outside the penalty area should be worth more goals.

"I think goals scored out of the penalty area should be worth more goals". He continued, "Three in fact, like in Michael Jordan (basketball)".

Some will suggest that this confirms suspicions that Rooney is slightly retarded, whilst others will say it merely shows his innovation, which they shall follow with unearned chants of "Rooney, Rooney, Rooney".

Rooney has previously suggested unimplemented footballing rule changes. In an interview in 2006 he famously said, "Balding players should not get red cards for kicking a person in the penis during a vital World Cup game against Portugal." He also said in 2007 that, "Players with the letters w, a, y, n, e, r and o in their name should not get booked for diving against Arsenal when Arsenal are on a 49 game unbeaten run."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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