The Kentucky Derby Federation Has Ruled That North Korean Thoroughbred "Rice Patty" Is Ineligible

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Saturday, 23 April 2022

image for The Kentucky Derby Federation Has Ruled That North Korean Thoroughbred "Rice Patty" Is Ineligible
Kim Jong-un's "Rice Patty" (shown) and Bob Baffert's "Princess Conundrum" are the favorites.

LOUISVILLE, Kentucky - (Sports Satire) - In a ruling that has shocked North Korean leader Kim Jong-un, his thoroghbred race horse named "Rice Patty" will not be allowed to run in the 148th running of the Kentucky Derby.

The Kimster was informed of the Kentucky Derby Federation's ruling in an Instagram message.

A spokesperson for Kim Jong-un said that the North Korean leader is so abundantly angry, so extremely bitter, and so fuckingly pissed off that he is thinking about launching a missile towards Louisville on Derby Day.

The Sports Bet Gazette noted that the reason why "Rice Patty" was scratched is because derby vets found 43 different illegal drugs in the North Korean race horse's body.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Some of the illegal drugs found in "Rice Patty" included Biohistalene, Priethanodoxide, Uravinsella-6, and Alphakeenogrindo, which is a penis-enlarging substance that was recently banned in Alabama, Arizona, and Arkansas.]

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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