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Funny satire stories about Horse Racing

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Funny story: Northern Colluder is Favored to Win The Kentucky Derby

Northern Colluder is Favored to Win The Kentucky Derby

LAS VEGAS – The Gambling Capital of the World has reported that they have chosen the horse who they feel will win the 146th running of the Kentucky Derby. Northern Colluder, owned by Saudi Arabian Prince Sim San Kashobi, who owns most of the Karma...

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Funny story: An Amazing Kentucky Racehorse Named Witch Hunt Has Won 10 of His First 10 Races

An Amazing Kentucky Racehorse Named Witch Hunt Has Won 10 of His First 10 Races

SONORA, Kentucky – The thoroughbred horse racing industry is amazed at a 2-year-old stallion that literally runs like the wind, as they say up in Chicago. The horse, named Witch Hunt, has entered ten races and has won each one. And won by an avera...

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Funny story: Kentucky Derby: Russian Interference Alleged

Kentucky Derby: Russian Interference Alleged

There is controversy today in the aftermath of the Kentucky Derby debacle, when winning horse, Maximum Security, was disqualified for 'impeding other horses', and relegated to last place. A new scandal has emerged, of potential Russian involvemen...

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Funny story: Grand National Analysis Ahead Of The Race

Grand National Analysis Ahead Of The Race

The Aintree Grand National is with us once again, bringing with it all the excitement of watching 40-odd horses gallop round a course that is too long, over fences that are too high, and too dangerous, and stagger their bedraggled hulks past the fin...

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Funny story: Grand National 2019: Grandmother's Analysis

Grand National 2019: Grandmother's Analysis

The Grand National, the greatest horse race in the world over the most challenging four miles horses are likely to encounter, is upon us once again, and Enfield grandmother, Joyce Fishburn, is one of millions of women across the UK who like to have a...

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Funny story: Racetrack Officials Award First Place To Jockey Who Drugged Horse

Racetrack Officials Award First Place To Jockey Who Drugged Horse

A Mexican jockey pulled a fast one over the weekend. Horse jockey, Jose Hernandez, aka "The Druggie", was racing his horse, Ask Jesus, at the Killeagh Point-to-Point in Ireland on Sunday, when Hernandez decided to eat a burrito in the middle of t...

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Funny story: Royal Ascot to become new UK cage-fighting center!

Royal Ascot to become new UK cage-fighting center!

Royal Ascot, home of equestrian royalty, the final bastion of expensive designer female hats, Saville Row suits, royal processions, mega buckets of expensive champers, Rolls Royces, and High Society in general, has finally succumbed to the modern wa...

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Funny story: Abbot bans priests from entering Sister Mary's Ass!

Abbot bans priests from entering Sister Mary's Ass!

After allowing his silent religious order to communicate via the use of Facebook, Abbot Michael Lafferty, was mortified when comments that he left on one of his priest's Facebook entries went viral. Having entered the sanctuary's working donkey in...

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Funny story: Bedlam blasts all over a Donald Trump rally at Sam Houston Race Course

Bedlam blasts all over a Donald Trump rally at Sam Houston Race Course

Donald Trump was the last to show up at his convention in Texas yesterday, where he wailed and railed about Latino people, calling them a number of vile and racist names. He also threw some racist rhetoric at one of the favorite sons of Texas, Ted Cr...

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Funny story: Dark Horse: Donald Trump is not one of us

Dark Horse: Donald Trump is not one of us

Manchuria (SAPP) - The Society of Dark Horses (SoDaHo) has announced in a press release that Donald Trump is not one of them. The secret society, known for its yearly festival in Manchuria known as Burning Horse, has claimed that it has no record of...

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Funny story: American Pharoah's Jockey Also Commands A Huge Stud Fee! (Comparatively Speaking)

American Pharoah's Jockey Also Commands A Huge Stud Fee! (Comparatively Speaking)

Dallas, TX - Triple Crown winning horsie, American Pharoah, is reportedly getting a record-setting stud fee of over three million dollars from other mega-rich horse breeders, to jam its giant horse dong into their fillies, in an effort to produce the...

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Funny story: Curse of Tutankhamun haunts American Pharoah's Triple Crown bid

Curse of Tutankhamun haunts American Pharoah's Triple Crown bid

Elmont, NY - Punters are being warned off betting in Sautrday's renewal of the Belmont Stakes amid reports that an ancient Egyptian hex is stalking dual classic winner American Pharoah. The 3/5 favorite is bidding to break the 37 year hoodoo affec...

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Funny story: False Legged Horse Romps In At 2000 - 1 Betting Suspended

False Legged Horse Romps In At 2000 - 1 Betting Suspended

A formerly injured horse, Pastorius II romped home by 13 lengths at Chepslow this afternoon. Six months ago, the horse was about to be shot after it jumped over a grass cutting machine, losing four legs below the "knee". A relative of Oscar Pistoli...

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Funny story: New Royal Race Meetings To Feature Only Smack-Head Horses

New Royal Race Meetings To Feature Only Smack-Head Horses

Rally style jockey protection cages are among the proposals for "Horse Smack-Head" meetings to be staged in Afhghanistan. The unfortunate horses which are prone to accidental banned substance ingestion will race while on morphine initially, before b...

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Funny story: One's Horses Achieve An All Time High

One's Horses Achieve An All Time High

Despite Estimate, one of HRH Queen Elizabeth's horses accidentally getting contaminated food in its nosh bag, this year has seen many high points for the Queen's horses, the Palace said this morning. "Some of the horses that her nags mix with though,...

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Funny story: Toast Of New York burns his Epson Derby bridges, heads for Belmont Invitational instead

Toast Of New York burns his Epson Derby bridges, heads for Belmont Invitational instead

New York - A Brti-trained wonder horse named after its eponymous Upper East Side breakfast bar owners is homeward bound for a tilt at this year's $1.25m Belmont Derby Invitational. Toast of New York is now a firm 3/1 favorite for the 5 July 10-fur...

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Funny story: Colleges Could Replace Football Teams With Race Horses

Colleges Could Replace Football Teams With Race Horses

For the first time in the history of college sports, athletes are asking to be represented by a labor union, taking formal steps on Tuesday to begin the process of being recognized as employees. Ramogi Huma, president of the National College Playe...

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