The Detroit Lions Have The Worst Record Of Any Team In The NFL And Their Fans Are Embarrassed-As-Hell!

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Tuesday, 23 November 2021

image for The Detroit Lions Have The Worst Record Of Any Team In The NFL And Their Fans Are Embarrassed-As-Hell!
Even at work in the office, Lions fans are so embarrassed that they wear paper sacks over their faces.

DETROIT – (Sports Satire) – The entire Lions organization from the owners, to the coaches, to the players, to the cheerleaders, and even to the hot dog vendors are sick and tired of the team's winless record.

Lions coach Dan Campbell told Zorro La Bamba with the Sports Bet Gazette that he feels so guilty that he may return some of his salary, but then maybe not.

The Lions record is 0-9-1. Many season ticket holders are asking for a refund, but the Lion’s owner Shelia Ford Hamp stated that she has never returned anyone’s money, and she is certainly not going to start now.

She did want to make it perfectly clear, that all of the vulgar, nasty text messages, Instagrams, and emails she has received lately will not make her change her mind one damn fucking bit.

Ms. Ford Hamp noted that she is willing to give the season ticket holders a $2 discount on stadium parking, as well as a 5% discount on hot dogs, nachos, popcorn, condoms, and fortune cookies.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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