NEW YORK CITY – (Sports Satire) – NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell has informed the news media and the football fans that he has issued a mandate that all 32 teams in the NFL will use orange-colored footballs during all games played in October.
Sportsapalooza reporter Pia Confetti spoke with the commissioner and asked him where the wonderfully holiday seasonal idea came from.
He replied that strangely enough it came from Houston Astros superstar Jose Altuve. She added that Jose’s favorite color is orange (one of the Astros uniform colors is orange).
Miss Confetti commented that Altuve talked to her and pointed out that orange has been his favorite color ever since he was 6-months-old and living in Venezuela.
Commissioner Goodell said that all of the NFL Halloween-themed footballs will be manufactured in Cincinnati by a football-producing company called “Footballs ‘R” Us.”
SIDENOTE: A defensive lineman who plays for the New York Jets, told his coach that he has never celebrated Halloween, and furthermore, he added that he will not play during the month of October. When told he’ll have to forfeit his entire October pay, the anti-Halloweener replied, “Well, hell, then I guess I'll just go ahead and play then!”