Leyton Orient purchase cardboard copy of Ronaldo on transfer deadline day!

Funny story written by Jaggedone

Tuesday, 31 August 2021

image for Leyton Orient purchase cardboard copy of Ronaldo on transfer deadline day!
Ronaldo's bronze statue was too expensive for Leyton Orient and it would have to go into quarantine anyway!

Manchester United have the real thing, but Leyton Orient, lower division London club, have dived into the transfer market and spent £10 on the other version!

After United's scrappy win over Wolves, United fans went delirious and waved a cardboard copy of their prodigal son who, will return to Manchester without his Zimmer-frame, hoping to cash in on the £363 million he already owns, and bang in a few goals on the way.

Leyton Orient, not quite in the same financial league, watched United fans swinging Cristiano's effigy at the Wolves game and decided to plunge for his cardboard copy. Their board of directors thought it was a mega-deal because even a cardboard copy is better than the strikers their team presently have.

David Beckham, local born lad, who can ping a football from 30 yards on the top of a farthing, has been employed by the Orient managers to give lessons to their wingers in how to plonk the ball on Cristiano's cardboard head at certain angles, guaranteeing many more goals for the team!

Ronaldo's cardboard effigy will be placed on the edge of the penalty area during games, and Orient's wingers have been instructed to cross the ball as many times as possible for Cristiano to nod it in the back of their opponents net!

A win-win scenario claim Orient's fans, and where can you get a top-class player cheaper than a tenner these days, even if he's only a cardboard copy?!

United have no problems with Ronaldo performing in London as long as the 'Real Thing' bangs in the goals, without his Zimmer-frame, in Manchester!

The Football Association do not give a crap about Ronaldo performing for the Orient as long as he stays onside, does not get kicked, and is not sent off in a tantrum after stamping his feet!!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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