UCLA Headed For 4th Straight 0-3 Start

Funny story written by Ralph E. Shaffer

Thursday, 19 August 2021

image for UCLA Headed For 4th Straight 0-3 Start
Ready boys?!

The Bruin athletic director may have thought he had scheduled some patsies for his UCLA football team when he picked Hawaii and Fresno State as two of the three non-conference teams in the opening weeks of the schedule. Think again! The Bruins of Westwood are headed for their fourth consecutive 0-3 season opener when they collide with Hawaii on Aug, 28.

Oh, you say that the Bruins actually won one of the first three games last year. That was a virus fluke, caused by Utah's cancellation due to an infection on their team. That put the Cal Bears on as a replacement - and most anyone could beat the Bears last season - or any season in recent years. No, UCLA's 1-2 opening last year bears - an appropriate verb here - an asterisk indicating it really was an 0-3 start, as in 2018 and 2019.

Hawaii, the Bruins opening opponent this year, does well at the start of a season and could upset the pre-game favorite Bruins. LSU will easily take the second game, and don't forget that the third matchup is with Fresno State, a team that licked the Bruins in 2018 to start the Bruins string of 0-3 losses.

Yes, there is a new athletic director but the head coach remains on the job. Another 0-3 start may have him packing.

Westwood Village, UCLA Campus. Woof Bluster with an SOS for Spoof On Sports.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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